The Wedding
by Ella Twain
Summary: Nothing ruins a marriage so much as wedding. -Anon.
1. Chapter 1

**The Wedding**

Disclaimer: The characters and their stories belong to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Publishing and the like… The quotes belong to their respective authors, as well. I own the all-true tale this story is based on.

Rating: Suggestive

Summary: This is a truly _inspired_ work. I happened to attend the wedding recently of my bosses' daughter. I can't help but think of this couple (my bosses that be) as perhaps a real-life version of my favorite pairing. They inspired this story and it is written in their honor and sheer hope they never have to see their 'in-laws' again.

A/N: A special thank-you to my beta, GoodWitch for help with this story.

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__Nothing so ruins a marriage as a wedding._

-Anon.

"I am going to kill her."

"Of course, _dear_."

"I just haven't decided how…"

"_Right_."

"There's the obvious Unforgivable Curse but that's too dramatic. A good potion would do it and no would be the wiser. Slip it into her bloody 'pure-natural-springs-water' bottle. Watch her die; slowly and painfully…maybe take a picture to capture the moment."

"Are you going to frame it, too?"

"No. I am going to use a very old-fashioned plain Muggle tack on our door and then I might throw darts at it!"

"_Hermione_…"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to do this _before or after the wedding_?"

"One more second of her-"

"And you'll **what**?"

There was a begrudged and final sigh in the room.

"I'll do nothing. _**Damn**_ _**my Gryffindor sense of wrong and right!**_"

"I do _not_ think this has anything to do with your Gryffindor nobility. You are a mother. A very good and wise mother- a mother who would do anything for her child- a mother who _has_ done anything for her child; even put-up with her daughter's future-in-laws for the sake of **said** daughter's marriage."

There was an absolute silence before she replied flatly, "I hate it when _you're_ right."

"Yet you have managed to stay married to me after all these years…it's a bloody wonder you didn't leave me sooner."

"A wonder to you and the rest of the wizarding world, our peers here at Hogwarts, and need I remind you, **your own** in-laws."

"How are your Mum and Dad, by the way?"

"Fine, they are driving Lyssa quite mad right now since they are staying with her…"

"You let _your_ parents stay with_ our_ daughter?"

"Let's just call it pre-emptive-forced-chastity."

"That's quite brilliant."

"Yes, I know. _But really Severus_, the woman has to go. She has locked herself in the bathroom for over two hours pitching some temper tantrum about the location of the wedding reception. How about a nice hex? Just one little hex…"

"Hermione, the woman is a Muggle. Her husband is a Muggle. You, _more than anyone,_ should realize they do not fully understand the significance of neither our traditions nor the reasons behind them. There is no appreciation for them and you cannot expect any thing else."

"I love Brendan. He's a wonderful wizard. He'll make our Lyssie a wonderful husband but I cannot bear anymore of **his narcissistic-over-bearing mother**!"

Severus Snape, finally placed his book down and set his glasses on top of the book he was not going to get to finish. He stood-up with the grace and slyness he had even maintained at this season in his life. He walked over to his riled wife and wrapped his long lean arms around her; pulling her into his broad chest.

Hermione Granger-Snape responded and wrapped her arms around her husband's waist and leaned her head into him. It was always in moments like such she remained amazed. To the outsider-one might be amazed at the sight of an older 'greasy-git' former-Potions-master with a definitively younger less-bushy-haired know-it-all-Charms-professor embracing one another in an intimate manner. To the wizarding community- it was the sight of Severus Snape and Hermione Granger anywhere in close vicinity of one another that amazed them. To Hermione- it was the fact that when he embraced her she felt so safe, so protected, so…fearless.

"Severus, I love Brendan. I love how Lyssie lights up when he comes in the room. I love how we've watched them grow-up together, grow apart and back together. I love how we witnessed the love story of our wonderful perfect daughter." She sighed contently. "But what I do **not** love is Susann_-I'm-A-Muggle-Snob_-Brull and her self-aggrandizing-wife-whipped husband! Her friends are _rude_ to Lyssa and her family is completely obnoxious! She will not ruin my daughter's wedding- _**come ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**_!"

With the flare and dramatics that only a _Granger_ could fully posses, Hermione pulled from her husband's embrace and marched out into the cold halls of Hogwarts, storming all the way.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, as he was in the habit of doing when his wife was anything but well. He loved her-and no doubt could be ascertained to what measure-but _hell-if he didn't bear her temper rightly or at all_. He was rather grateful it was summer holidays and he'd not have to actually give out House points to make-up for his wife's foul mood and tirades. He didn't like giving House points, it was against his nature…even if he was Headmaster.


	2. Chapter 2

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**The Wedding**

Disclaimer: The characters and their stories belong to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Publishing and the like… The quotes belong to their respective authors, as well. I own the all-true tale this story is based on.

Rating: Suggestive

Summary: This is a truly _inspired_ work. I happened to attend the wedding recently of my bosses' daughter. I can't help but think of this couple (my bosses that be) as perhaps a real-life version of my favorite pairing. They inspired this story and it is written in their honor and sheer hope they never have to see their 'in-laws' again.

A/N: A special thank-you to my beta, GoodWitch for help with this story. Another thank-you to those who reviewed this story so far. I am very honored by it and I hope you continue reading. Thanks!

Ella Twain

A friend will be there for you when you get in trouble, a true friend will be by your side driving the getaway car.

-Anon.

"Melyssandra…"

"Albus…"

"What is it that you are doing with Susann's water-bottle?"

"Nothing..."

"Lyssie, you forget that you were not sorted into Slytherin, unlike your fiancé. You don't lie well or at all."

"Seriously, it's nothing."

"_Lyssie_…"

"What? It really is nothing. I just thought Susann might like a refill on her water."

"You know I've learned never trust a former-Potions-professor's daughter…_ever_."

"Al, you're the best man and Brendan's closest friend. You are like a cousin to me, but if you don't let me alone about the _bloody water bottle_ you will be a distant cousin, a _very _distant cousin."

Albus Potter shrugged and let a coy smile cross his face.

"I was actually going to volunteer to take it to her myself. She's not going to trust you. She _loves _me."

"Forget what I said, you're like a brother."

"Except you already have enough of those…so we'll settle for good friend and a person who thinks his best friend's Mum is a complete nutter."

"I just need her to calm down. Really, this is for her own good, because if I don't do something--"

"Your Mum is going to kill her."

"Pretty much… I just rather there weren't any blood shed at my wedding; it would clash horribly with the colors I've chosen."

"I would agree to that statement if I weren't male and 'inherently-color-blind' as my wife points out to me every. Single. Day. If I had my way the whole flat would have been maroon and gold with big lions painted everywhere."

"And you don't think that Abby would have a problem with that, because if you remember, she is a Hufflepuff and Head of the Hufflepuff House?"

"So? I'm Head of Gryffindor; I'm sure we could have reached a nice arrangement of colors…"

"Of course Albus, of course… But enough about you--back to the natural disaster that my wedding is slowly becoming!" Lyssie moaned.

"What else besides the _monster-in-law_ do you need me to take care of?"

"Brendan."

"And you are worried--"

"Al, Scorpius is a groomsman. Lysander is a groomsman. Ced is a groomsman. Nothing good ever came in threes…a Slytherin, a Ravenclaw, and a Hufflepuff…tell me that doesn't spell chaos, **please--tell me**."

Al shrugged his shoulders in a non-committal way. It was absolutely frightening the quirks one picks up from their parents, because Lyssie could've sworn it was Uncle Harry. And from all she knew, '_the shrug'_ as her Mum had deemed it could only mean trouble. No, Gryffindors had a nasty time of lying but they had no problem skirting the truth altogether when necessary.

"Just make sure he's alive, fairly sober, and you know…human at our wedding."

There was no answer but another shrug. Lyssie sighed, shoved the water bottle at Albus, and took off in the opposite direction in hopes of finding the bottle of Firewhiskey her fiancé had hidden.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Wedding**

**Disclaimer:** The characters and their stories belong to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Publishing and the like… The quotes belong to their respective authors, as well. I own the all-true tale this story is based on.

**Rating:** Suggestive

**Summary:** This is a truly inspired work. I happened to attend the wedding recently of my bosses' daughter. I can't help but think of this couple (my bosses that be) as perhaps a real-life version of my favorite pairing. They inspired this story and it is written in their honor and sheer hope they never have to see their 'in-laws' again.

**A/N:** I continue to thank-you my beta, GoodWitch for help with this story. I owe you! This is the last part for awhile as work will keep me impossibly busy...enjoy! Read and review at your liking.

Ella Twain

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_The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires._

-Dorothy Parker

"MEAGAN!"

"HERMIONE!"

"Where in the-"

"Hermione, this is a small room. I am in full possession of my hearing abilities. I am merely in my storeroom. Please refrain from **SHOUTING**!"

Professor Meagan Whatts, Hogwarts' Professor of History of Magic and the liaison of International Magical Studies for the Ministry of Magic, pulled herself from her storeroom and out into her classroom where a very overwrought and perturbed Hermione Snape was wearing a nice hole in her rugs. _Didn't her brilliant husband think to give the poor woman a simple Calming Draught in her morning tea, _Meagan wondered as she tried to figure out how to calm the woman down on _her own_.

"Hermione, what's wrong?"

"My daughter is getting married."

"Yes, Lyssie is getting married, just like Brian, Abe, Hector, and Fill. You managed to get through all their weddings…what's different now?"

"It's my only daughter. My only chance to be a part of the planning, the decorating, the whole thing…I suppose."

Meagan merely nodded in response.

"I don't know Meagan. I mean… I know I am driving Severus absolutely crazy with my ravings and tantrums and I know I'm not helping Lyssie any but…"

"_But what_?"

"I just want this to be **her** day and not a day spoiled by my future-son-in-law's _ludicrous_ family."

"Hermione, what you want for Lyssie is normal. How you're feeling about this whole day is normal. How you evenfeel about the Brulls is normal. How _you deal with it,_ on the other hand, is going to make the difference. Help your daughter out, Hermione. Gather that ideal calm you always have on you and use it. You've **been married** to a raving lunatic for who knows how long; use that to your advantage_._"

"You're right. Thank you. And _could you not _call my husband a raving lunatic?"

"Hermione, I've been teaching here since you have. I was there at your own wedding. I have seen the births of all five of your children. I'm sorry, but after that many years here, I stick to my guns that your husband, my boss, Headmaster of the illustrious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is a raving lunatic. But I still love you both." With that, Meagan gave her good friend a warm reassuring hug. "Now, is there any thing else I can help you with, because if not, I promised Terry an actual family lunch."

"No…you and Terry enjoy lunch together. I suppose I will see you at the rehearsal tonight?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world--or all the sweets from Honeyduke's."

Hermione gave a small smile as she turned to leave. "Coming _from you_, the Sweets Smuggler of Hogwarts, that means a whole lot."

"I know."


End file.
